after speaking with ryan* on the shotty cell phone, bringing light to my true fears and having a good, filling dinner of mushy rice and fried sweet potatoes, i am feeling better now than i have over the past 2 weeks, err, 3 weeks. its amazing the strength one can pull from airwaves, from broken english, from simply self invented narratives sprouting from familiar verses, hums, odors or tastes. although, to be honest, the familiar tastes have been limited to orange gatorade and toothpaste, at least they are both healthy and not beer or wine or other vices.
i think that it is these small reminders, tokens of the past and pictures of my future that will, in the 26 months to come, bring strength to my weaknesses and contentment to my stirs. we learn, soon, of our sites and for that i am excited. i hope to be in a small village, smaller than my homestay, for cleanliness (less people = less garbage littering the streets and waterways) and quick familiarity. i hope i get to ride a bike everyday to market, to the fields, to the gardens, to the well. to cook for myself will be triumphant. to schedule my life again will be a success everyday. to plan for my community, my family, my gardens, my projects and my future will be priceless.
* for those of you who don't know, last thanksgiving i fell in love. his name is ryan o'brien, he lives in salida with his son Fisher and his dog Tuk. he is an artist and i highly recommend visiting his webiste. he's going to be around for a long long time so you might as well put one foot in the door now.