seek and find

Friday, March 13, 2009

my exit strategy

8 february 2009

I’ve never felt more unsure of myself than I do right now. Its an empty, longing feeling. I don’t however long for pity or help. Just the knowledge of ability… that I have this ability to be stronger than myself. To overcome myself and my thoughts and at the same time to hold them and own them and know them.
Be patient, Sydney.

…………………………………………………… later that day

I was hoping that the mood swings would level out. Maybe… soon? I am hoping that today was special, that its subtle enormity would end and be ended and put into history or better yet forgotten.

I miss home. Its security. Its safeties. Is that a word?


Blek. Move on, Syd. Dwelling does nothing. Sitting does nothing. Think it through; get it out and GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

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