this piece of wood is smaller than my pinkie finger, the moss growing on it is smaller than the amount of polish it would take to paint my pinkie fingernail.
there is so much beauty in, on and around this tiny little thing.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
how to: Stay Awake and Alert at Work When You're Used to Napping Daily
coffee giving your tummy some trouble? are your eyes dropping at the same rate as your spirits? does 3o'clock usually alarm you to the fact that you're nap is overdue?
here are some helpful tips and suggestions for staying awake at the office (from a nap taker extraordinaire who now has an 8-5 and, consequentially, has to not only stay awake but perky and alert):
1) for every cup of coffee you drink, drink a cold cup of water
- the cold water seems to wake your eyes they way the coffee wakes your brain
- its refreshing and gives your whites a bit of a preclean so that, maybe, you won't have to whiten so much later on
- because coffee is a diuretic, it can help in balancing out your system, adding clear, clean water to a system that is being
quickly flushed out will replenish the expelled fluids and hydrate your body and, hopefully, mind.
2) ginger (not the snap)
- a piece of candied, raw or dried ginger will spice up your life, recruiting your memory to buzz and encourage you to drink
more water
- a natural alarm
- its just good measure to ease your tummy when stressed and ginger is a fantastic tool in doing so
3) wasabi'd peas
- the spice will wake up your eyes and nose and not necessarily in that order
- the kick will also prompt you to drink more of that fantastically necessary, hard to find time for, waker-upper: water
4) chocolate milk
- vitamin D, calcium, protein and just enough sugars to perk your butt up so your butt doesn't have to get up, get coffee and
cream and sugar and blow the whole afternoon with jitters
5) le pamplemousse
- taking half of a grapefruit to work not only gives you a healthy snack, chock full of vitamin c and bs it also, and lets be
honest here, allows you to avert your attention for a moment. taking your attention away from your screen, like to gut
individual slices of a halved grapefruit, can reboot your brain a bit and help you take a fresh look at a normal screen.
- the vitamin content in a half a grapefruit will, undoubtedly, blow your mind
- also, they smell amazing, fresh and bright.
here are some helpful tips and suggestions for staying awake at the office (from a nap taker extraordinaire who now has an 8-5 and, consequentially, has to not only stay awake but perky and alert):
1) for every cup of coffee you drink, drink a cold cup of water
- the cold water seems to wake your eyes they way the coffee wakes your brain
- its refreshing and gives your whites a bit of a preclean so that, maybe, you won't have to whiten so much later on
- because coffee is a diuretic, it can help in balancing out your system, adding clear, clean water to a system that is being
quickly flushed out will replenish the expelled fluids and hydrate your body and, hopefully, mind.
2) ginger (not the snap)
- a piece of candied, raw or dried ginger will spice up your life, recruiting your memory to buzz and encourage you to drink
more water
- a natural alarm
- its just good measure to ease your tummy when stressed and ginger is a fantastic tool in doing so
3) wasabi'd peas
- the spice will wake up your eyes and nose and not necessarily in that order
- the kick will also prompt you to drink more of that fantastically necessary, hard to find time for, waker-upper: water
4) chocolate milk
- vitamin D, calcium, protein and just enough sugars to perk your butt up so your butt doesn't have to get up, get coffee and
cream and sugar and blow the whole afternoon with jitters
5) le pamplemousse
- taking half of a grapefruit to work not only gives you a healthy snack, chock full of vitamin c and bs it also, and lets be
honest here, allows you to avert your attention for a moment. taking your attention away from your screen, like to gut
individual slices of a halved grapefruit, can reboot your brain a bit and help you take a fresh look at a normal screen.
- the vitamin content in a half a grapefruit will, undoubtedly, blow your mind
- also, they smell amazing, fresh and bright.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
how to: find your way around the E.R.
well well well, i guess my time had come. i've been a (proud) commuter cyclist for 8 years now. riding from job to job to school to job to party to home to farmers market to movie to job to job to work to school to home for long enough to know that one's luck can only last so long. being a defensive cyclist has always been something i prided myself in; but being defensive and proactive are not one in the same.
friday while (albeit foolishly) biking on hwy 101 (don't let the name fool you, its not unlike fm 1456 in Bellville, lamar blvd in Austin or hwy 291 in Salida, two lanes, good condition, but with heavier traffic than you'd expect) i was pushed by the breeze-backlash of a semitruck off the road, catching my front tire on the dip between asphalt and gravel and came crashing down, hard and seemingly only, on the left side of the top of my head. i jumped up, moved off the road, touched my head to find no blood (thank God, praise Allah, etc) but did discover a tennis ball sized bump that was not only sore to the touch but became more sore when i wasn't holding it. i immediately called Jenny Bracht, a girl who is also recently moved here to work for Sensaria and who i had only just seen 27 minutes earlier. she came quickly to whisk me off to the ER, busted bicycle in tow. we went to the hospital, got the cat scans and xrays, had an all around good experience there, and headed home to rest about 2 hours later.
with a concussion, the old news is "no sleeping" but the new news is "no tv, more sleep, pills pills pills and ice." personally, i like the old ideas better but went ahead and fused the two bodies of thought into this: sleep, ice, pills, npr podcasts and very little computer time. so far its working. i'd like to say that i can blame the intense soreness on my fused rx but doubt that that would fly with anyone who knows the situation.
to jump ahead of you all and answer the obvious questions: yes, i'm going to buy and religiously wear a helmet from this day forth; no, i'm not scared off my bike although i do intend on plotting my routes a little differently from now on; and yes, someone is here keeping an eye on me. Jenny has been splendidly sweet, as have the neighbors who have brought me fresh cut roses from their gardens and buzzed the doorbell to keep me alert. and Ryan, of course, precious Ryan has been checking in and checking up on whats good in life, including testing my common knowledge of day to day life.
whats funny, and i do mean laughable, about this whole situation is that not only was i, while biking, thinking of how lucky i am: to have the family, the friends, the good fortune to have gone through what i did and come out on top, to have a job - nay, a career - ready and willing to mold and be molded, to have left Salida with peace in my heart and to have arrived in Washington with love in my life, to know my parents and brother, Skylar, with the entirety that i do and to be known by them so well. just before my crash i realized that Ryan is taking active steps to ensure his health, his well being, Fishers health, my happiness (for one, he is mid-stride in his campaign to be a non-smoking single dad) and now its time that i do the same.
step one: helmet. step two: public transportation to shorten the commute. step three: sleep sleep water water. step four: acknowledge the lovely life that i've had, the good and the bad and the terribly ugly. step five: let the crazies be crazy and if it just so happens that they wish to release their craziness on your voicemail then just delete it and move onwards and upwards, leaving their crazy, nonsensical, pathological craziness behind. step six: let those who you love dearly know it, every chance you get. step seven: relax.
anywho, the top-hat bump on the noggin is subsiding, the dizziness is stabilizing and the smile has yet to fade.
friday while (albeit foolishly) biking on hwy 101 (don't let the name fool you, its not unlike fm 1456 in Bellville, lamar blvd in Austin or hwy 291 in Salida, two lanes, good condition, but with heavier traffic than you'd expect) i was pushed by the breeze-backlash of a semitruck off the road, catching my front tire on the dip between asphalt and gravel and came crashing down, hard and seemingly only, on the left side of the top of my head. i jumped up, moved off the road, touched my head to find no blood (thank God, praise Allah, etc) but did discover a tennis ball sized bump that was not only sore to the touch but became more sore when i wasn't holding it. i immediately called Jenny Bracht, a girl who is also recently moved here to work for Sensaria and who i had only just seen 27 minutes earlier. she came quickly to whisk me off to the ER, busted bicycle in tow. we went to the hospital, got the cat scans and xrays, had an all around good experience there, and headed home to rest about 2 hours later.
with a concussion, the old news is "no sleeping" but the new news is "no tv, more sleep, pills pills pills and ice." personally, i like the old ideas better but went ahead and fused the two bodies of thought into this: sleep, ice, pills, npr podcasts and very little computer time. so far its working. i'd like to say that i can blame the intense soreness on my fused rx but doubt that that would fly with anyone who knows the situation.
to jump ahead of you all and answer the obvious questions: yes, i'm going to buy and religiously wear a helmet from this day forth; no, i'm not scared off my bike although i do intend on plotting my routes a little differently from now on; and yes, someone is here keeping an eye on me. Jenny has been splendidly sweet, as have the neighbors who have brought me fresh cut roses from their gardens and buzzed the doorbell to keep me alert. and Ryan, of course, precious Ryan has been checking in and checking up on whats good in life, including testing my common knowledge of day to day life.
whats funny, and i do mean laughable, about this whole situation is that not only was i, while biking, thinking of how lucky i am: to have the family, the friends, the good fortune to have gone through what i did and come out on top, to have a job - nay, a career - ready and willing to mold and be molded, to have left Salida with peace in my heart and to have arrived in Washington with love in my life, to know my parents and brother, Skylar, with the entirety that i do and to be known by them so well. just before my crash i realized that Ryan is taking active steps to ensure his health, his well being, Fishers health, my happiness (for one, he is mid-stride in his campaign to be a non-smoking single dad) and now its time that i do the same.
step one: helmet. step two: public transportation to shorten the commute. step three: sleep sleep water water. step four: acknowledge the lovely life that i've had, the good and the bad and the terribly ugly. step five: let the crazies be crazy and if it just so happens that they wish to release their craziness on your voicemail then just delete it and move onwards and upwards, leaving their crazy, nonsensical, pathological craziness behind. step six: let those who you love dearly know it, every chance you get. step seven: relax.
anywho, the top-hat bump on the noggin is subsiding, the dizziness is stabilizing and the smile has yet to fade.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Old Folks Say It Best: Tips for Staying Sunny in the Pacific Northwest
1) Whiten Your Teeth
with the great and astounding abundance of good red wines, great coffee and coffee shops, dark beers and beets beets beets, a good thing to remember is: brush brush brush... then whiten.
2) Add Some Color to That Quinoa
the almost grossly glorious are the greens, yellows and varieties of reds one can find at their local supermarche as well as at the famously fantastic Farmers' Market in downtown Olympia.
3) Rise and Shine, Skip the Worm
waking up early in this glorious state of Washington affords you much more than extra sunshine: it gives you a valid excuse to drink fantastic coffee All Day Long, a reason to walk the dogs in the mist and start both of your days off with the right foot soaked and the left brain smiling, it allows you to watch as seals swim past on their daily route to the schools awaiting the chase and, most importantly, you get to watch as swallows dive and play and toussel one another in loving reaches and teasing swooshes.
4) Adages Add Up
its important, when living in such lush greens and heavy greys and dark deep blues, to remember that it is solely your responsibility to keep your chin up, even if its consequently dripping rain all down your shirt. with those heavy, rain laden clouds, comes the duty to smile that (bright white, see above) smile and remember to look past the torrential downpour that is upon you and look to the silver lining ; to remember that very shortly after you've decided to take in the lush beauty, and accept that nature is nature and will undoubtedly rain whether you like it or not, that the rainbows, those glorious, goodness-inspiring, warmth-proving rays of life are going to be in your face and no matter how dreary the day was or how dreary you are being, those belts of joy will reach you, dry you off and stretch that smile right across those pearly whites of yours.
I feel like myself again, happy, free, capable, in love, with Ryan, with life, with everything. Its good to be back and be a stranger not to myself, my friends or my family, but to a whole new society, a new type, a new neighborhood. Because, as many of you know, I'm only a stranger for a short period of time. Before you know it, I'll be hosting neighborhood parties, serving bowls at the food bank and making friends with bus drivers.
Away we go!
with the great and astounding abundance of good red wines, great coffee and coffee shops, dark beers and beets beets beets, a good thing to remember is: brush brush brush... then whiten.
2) Add Some Color to That Quinoa
the almost grossly glorious are the greens, yellows and varieties of reds one can find at their local supermarche as well as at the famously fantastic Farmers' Market in downtown Olympia.
3) Rise and Shine, Skip the Worm
waking up early in this glorious state of Washington affords you much more than extra sunshine: it gives you a valid excuse to drink fantastic coffee All Day Long, a reason to walk the dogs in the mist and start both of your days off with the right foot soaked and the left brain smiling, it allows you to watch as seals swim past on their daily route to the schools awaiting the chase and, most importantly, you get to watch as swallows dive and play and toussel one another in loving reaches and teasing swooshes.
4) Adages Add Up
its important, when living in such lush greens and heavy greys and dark deep blues, to remember that it is solely your responsibility to keep your chin up, even if its consequently dripping rain all down your shirt. with those heavy, rain laden clouds, comes the duty to smile that (bright white, see above) smile and remember to look past the torrential downpour that is upon you and look to the silver lining ; to remember that very shortly after you've decided to take in the lush beauty, and accept that nature is nature and will undoubtedly rain whether you like it or not, that the rainbows, those glorious, goodness-inspiring, warmth-proving rays of life are going to be in your face and no matter how dreary the day was or how dreary you are being, those belts of joy will reach you, dry you off and stretch that smile right across those pearly whites of yours.
I feel like myself again, happy, free, capable, in love, with Ryan, with life, with everything. Its good to be back and be a stranger not to myself, my friends or my family, but to a whole new society, a new type, a new neighborhood. Because, as many of you know, I'm only a stranger for a short period of time. Before you know it, I'll be hosting neighborhood parties, serving bowls at the food bank and making friends with bus drivers.
Away we go!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Good Bye to You, Zoe
The best and worst part of being a dog owner is making the decision, towards the end, to be the best dog owner, the best companion, the best friend you can be. That decision comes with consequence but only you feel the aftermath, for she will be sleeping soundly, comfortably, easily for the rest of whatever existence she has.
We’ve had Zoe now for 15 years. She came to us as a 6 week old fluff ball of goodness. She slept in the nook of my neck until she got too big; she worked by my dad’s side, worked harder and smarter than any other dog we’ve seen; she was an instant celebrity when she visited me in Austin and once we moved to Salida, we were front page material as soon as we arrived.
Last March she lost the use of her back legs after years of accidents and consequential rehabilitation. She made her way around like a seal out of water until July, then, when I came home, with all of my issues, all of my tears, all of my regrets and the heartache that they caused in my life (namely the end of my engagement to Ryan O’Brien), she was there, needing my help, offering her assistance as only a dog can. I’d lay on the floor with her and cry, weep, sleep, and she’d just lick my tears and put her head on my shoulder. We got her a set of back wheels, not unlike a doggie wheelchair, and we set off everyday for two walks, one in the morning and one at night. With determination and massive consumption of dog treats, she mastered the wheels, she mastered trails and hills and pot holes like a cyclist. She goes up and down wheelchair ramps without direction, as if they were literally made just for her. She plowed through snow and made her way into the grand Arkansas River many a time to cool off.
Without her in my life upon my rocky return from Mali, without someone needing me, truly giving me a purpose, a reason to get out of bed, to get down stairs, to get outside by 6am every morning, I truly don’t know if I would be here. If a dog can do anything, it’s to give you purpose, to give you reason and legitimacy and absolute unconditional love. We have reached Zoe’s last leg (no pun intended) and this week, on a good day, we’re going to put her down, after 15 years of loyalty, friendship, companionship and absolute love.
It is my duty and my honor to help her find that simple sleep that will relieve her of all of her physical woes. It is my duty and my honor to be the best friend to her that she has been to me. To lay with her on the table while she drifts off is not only my worst fear but my biggest honor. She deserves peace and comfort and it is her time now.
I will always love this dog, Zoe. To my parents and brother and friends and family and all of those dedicated to the cause of Zoe, the goodness in her face, the sweetness in her step, thank you for your unequivocal dedication and support through this.
Monday, May 3, 2010
family ties (post dated 3 May 2010)
written 3 May 2010:
i've spent the last week with my half brother, his lovely wife and their two fantastic boys on the pacific central florida coast. the original purpose of this visit was to have him fix my jaw that had been rearranged during the altercation in africa. the reality of this visit became startlingly clear within minutes of seeing the boys, Storm and Max: to aliven that lovely knot called the family tie.
we grew up with different circumstances, different stories, different aspirations, different decades but with similar genes and similar knowledge of a few things: forgiveness, empathy, love and compassion. my brother and i, we've got a lot going for us. we're both good looking, we're both generous and friendly. we both love family, even and almost especially when they are crazy. and we both speak our minds, regardless of the crowd or audience and rarely falter in speach. and today as he left for work and i sat in his lovely house, on the water, listening to the sounds of the boys waking up and the coffee brewing, i was brought to steamy eyes knowing that he really does love me. even though he doesn't have to.
a while back our dentist diagnosed and prescribed me with some very serious dental work that would almost certainly need to be followed up with very serious (especially to a24 year old) plastic surgery, leaving me breathless and sobbing after each visit. he wasn't wrong, he just wasn't right. for a second opinion we called my brother. within 3 minutes of explaination, he interrupted me, invited me to florida, said i can have you fixed in 30 minutes, with a tan to boot.
thus here i am, a working jaw, a fantastic starter tan and a new and well founded knowldege of my brother, the power of goodness, his infaliable wife, Maria, and what true love can look like. its been inspiring, encouraging and has allowed the cullmunation of what was the worst year of my life to be somewhat anticlimatic... just how i had hoped it would be.
while visiting with him and his family in Florida, i received news that i had gotten a creative writing job in Washington state and would be leaving for it at the end of May. this was very welcomed news and couldn't have been better timing. with the surgery behind me, the pain in the past, and this being the final installment of my long road to recovery i knew that this job, this creative, fast paced, career starting job was a perfect fit at a perfect time.
curt gave me more in that trip than i could have ever received in the years we grew up apart. i thank him, his lovely family and our dad for the chance to get to know him, to have the good fortune of being indebtted to him and the knowledge that he and i can be sibligns of differnt sorts and be very happy knowing it.
i've spent the last week with my half brother, his lovely wife and their two fantastic boys on the pacific central florida coast. the original purpose of this visit was to have him fix my jaw that had been rearranged during the altercation in africa. the reality of this visit became startlingly clear within minutes of seeing the boys, Storm and Max: to aliven that lovely knot called the family tie.
we grew up with different circumstances, different stories, different aspirations, different decades but with similar genes and similar knowledge of a few things: forgiveness, empathy, love and compassion. my brother and i, we've got a lot going for us. we're both good looking, we're both generous and friendly. we both love family, even and almost especially when they are crazy. and we both speak our minds, regardless of the crowd or audience and rarely falter in speach. and today as he left for work and i sat in his lovely house, on the water, listening to the sounds of the boys waking up and the coffee brewing, i was brought to steamy eyes knowing that he really does love me. even though he doesn't have to.
a while back our dentist diagnosed and prescribed me with some very serious dental work that would almost certainly need to be followed up with very serious (especially to a24 year old) plastic surgery, leaving me breathless and sobbing after each visit. he wasn't wrong, he just wasn't right. for a second opinion we called my brother. within 3 minutes of explaination, he interrupted me, invited me to florida, said i can have you fixed in 30 minutes, with a tan to boot.
thus here i am, a working jaw, a fantastic starter tan and a new and well founded knowldege of my brother, the power of goodness, his infaliable wife, Maria, and what true love can look like. its been inspiring, encouraging and has allowed the cullmunation of what was the worst year of my life to be somewhat anticlimatic... just how i had hoped it would be.
while visiting with him and his family in Florida, i received news that i had gotten a creative writing job in Washington state and would be leaving for it at the end of May. this was very welcomed news and couldn't have been better timing. with the surgery behind me, the pain in the past, and this being the final installment of my long road to recovery i knew that this job, this creative, fast paced, career starting job was a perfect fit at a perfect time.
curt gave me more in that trip than i could have ever received in the years we grew up apart. i thank him, his lovely family and our dad for the chance to get to know him, to have the good fortune of being indebtted to him and the knowledge that he and i can be sibligns of differnt sorts and be very happy knowing it.
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